It's been four weeks! Time flies when there's a newborn in the house!

So, Harriet Amelia Mae arrived via scheduled c-section (at 39 weeks gestation), on February 20th 2015, at 10.12am weighing in at a super dinky, 6lb 14oz.

We are now four weeks into our new life as a five-some and I have to say, so far so good!

As some of you will remember, I was terrified at the prospect of a c-section, so, I went all Aspie-on-its-arse!

I researched the subject until I was satisfied (read; exhausted/blue in the face) that I had enough tools at my disposal to facilitate a speedy and effective recovery. I simply could not bear the thought of being out of action with my lot for up to six weeks (with no driving) with a new baby in the house too! No way Jose!

So, in case it is useful to anyone, here is what I learned about surgery, c-sections and effective recovery broken down into the various categories. I will try my best not to forget anything because I think I have made an almost miraculous recovery!

Homeopathy

• Arnica
• Aconite
• Bellis Perennis
• Staphisagria

Essential Oils

• Lavender
• Geranium
• Tea Tree Oil

Herbs

• Fenugreek
• Alfalfa

Supplements

• Papaya Enzyme Extract, 
• Serrapeptase
• L-Glutamine
• ProBiotics 
• Chlorella

Vitamins

• Vitamin C
• Iron
• Multivitamin

Meditation

Positive Affirmations

Medical Equipment

• Theraline C-Section Recovery Belt
• Girdle

Food/Nutrition

• Fibre rich
• High protein
• Whole grain
• Fresh
• Organic

Extras!

• Miso instant cup-a-soup
• Nuts, seeds, dried fruit
• Granola Bars
• Green & Black's chocolate
• Peppermint Tea
• Bach Peppermint Rescue Remedy Gum
• Senekot
• Ibuprofen
• Paracetamol
• Something to relieve wind but I can't remember what it was called!
• Placenta Capsules 

I hope that is useful to someone! And as always, please don't hesitate to get in touch if you have any questions.

Here is a picture of my beautiful baby girl at four weeks old. Please excuse her blue mouth...I have been treating her oral thrush with gentian violet 1% and it turns everything bluish/purple!

Thanks for reading, as always,

N x

It's been crazy...

Hi world,

I'm sorry I've been away so long. It wasn't my intention but it has been my reality.

So, my big kids are all fine. Great news.

Life is going so smoothly with them it's a little unsettling to be honest.

Dominik, 10, has discovered a love of cooking and has been cooking us egg fried rice and stir fry, making exotic sandwiches and French toast and generally getting to grips with the kitchen and its pleasures.

Oh, and we made Groot biscuits complete with their dirt pot chocolate muffins and, as per Dominik's request, we made sushi cakes too. Now they were a feat! We decided to try and make marshmallow fondant...never again! It was the most arm-work (and mess) ever and I wasn't even that impressed with the taste to be honest. Next time we will use fondant icing for sure! However, they did go down a storm and looked great in the end.

Hannon, 8 next month, has had his birthday present early. A full on beast of a computer! He has been learning all about bookmarking, downloading, installing, updating, virus scanning and has generally increased his reading ability by about another year I think.

It has been tiring though, I won't lie. I am having to constantly look over his shoulder to ensure he really is learning what to do and what not to do and he does need coaching with his spelling as he is far less confident with that than the reading. At the moment the computer is set up in our kitchen so it does feel rather like we are living on top of each other which is not normal in our house, as we all tend to do our own thing most of the time. Sigh. It will be worth it in the end!

Lily, 6, has been trying to read and write with such determination I am in awe of her! She is using some very simple 'My Little Pony' phonics books and she is typing to her friends on the PS3 whilst playing 'Little Big Planet'. She is naturally inclined to write everything phonetically with no spaces but it is amazing to witness.

Yesterday she wrote me a note which said, "How many more days until Harriet is here (the baby in my tummy who will be arriving by c-section tomorrow)?" and she wrote it like this: "hawmenymodazintilHarrietishere". Isn't that fabulous? Her oldest brother was highly unimpressed (no shock there) but I was thrilled. Her basic understanding, her desire to learn, her desire to do it for herself and her ability to communicate are wonderful.

It is a lovely reminder that yes, children do want and love to learn and are perfectly capable of finding their own way to move forward if simply encouraged and left alone. All I have done is write out what she has written correctly underneath her message and she is massively impressed with herself, which is all that matters. Her little face when I read her message back to her was precious.

So, me, well, I've been distracted! Hmmm, biggest understatement of the year right there! Having given birth four times (one angel baby boy still born at 27 weeks in 2006), all naturally and twice completely unassisted at home in two foreign countries, the prospect of surgery is a daunting one.

The reason for the c-section tomorrow is because after Lily was born in 2008, I developed a haematoma, which led to a recto-vaginal fistula.

The fistula was successfully repaired on the first attempt (incredibly rare), three weeks post-partum in Peru and I have thankfully never had any other symptoms.

I have been consulting with colo-rectal surgeons throughout this pregnancy and their advice has been to have a c-section to ensure that the fistula does not recur, (or perhaps even cause a fourth degree tear where the scar tissue is and possibly lead to the long term consequence of needing a colostomy bag and repeated surgeries). Any further surgeries after the first one are significantly less likely to be successful and I have been very lucky so far.

I have weighed all  my options thoroughly and the bottom line is, that I am simply too frightened to risk a vaginal delivery. Sigh.

The chances are all would be well but the risk is too great for me. I am a single mum with high needs children and I simply do not have a large enough circle of support to risk needing to be in and out of hospital for an unforeseen length of time. That's not even considering the psychological damage it could do to me which I know I do not have the energy to deal with.

So, I am facing my worst fear. Elective surgery. Tomorrow. Wow!

I guess some great things have come from this experience though. The children and I have had lots of time to talk about babies (from conception to birth) and we have watched countless YouTube videos of natural births and c-sections (the kids by far preferring the c-section over the natural route...far less messy)! We have also discussed our fears, talked about the changes that will occur once baby Harriet is here and worked out together who they would like to look after them in my place whilst I am in hospital.

This will be the first time I have been away from them all over night since 2013 and I can count the number of nights I have ever spent away from them on less than two hands. Yes, for me, this is a big deal. Breathe.

Today I am going to savour every baby wriggle and squirm, every big kid cuddle, and every moment of it just being the four of us for one more day.

Bring on the life change! See you all on the flip-side.

N x

Another Year Begins.

Happy New Year to you all.

Christmas and New Year seem to have passed almost unnoticed for us this time around.

Other years have been fraught with 'ought to's, musts and should really's' but this year was so very different that the drama simply vanished.

I dare to even say it was close to being completely drama free.

We only attempted one outing over the Christmas period to a very dear friends house on Boxing Day and it went so well that I might even be brave enough to attempt a few more in the near future!

The Boxing Day trip was the first time Dominik has been to visit anyone at home since May 2014.

He finds visiting other people's homes very stressful because it firstly involves a trip in the car (sensory nightmare) and then the uncertainty of what there will be to do when he gets there, who will be there, what he will be allowed to eat, how long we have to stay and what will be expected of him. I try my best to prepare him but when you visit the homes of people with no real idea of what having a child with special needs entails, it is rather difficult to adequately prepare.

In this instance, we arrived to find that they were having a second Christmas Day...sigh. This meant the house was full of nieces and nephews, grandparents and extended family, none of whom we knew well...all exchanging gifts. This was unexpected as we were told it was simply a Boxing Day BBQ.

When we arrived to a room full of people and the first comments we received were about my children's clothes (Dominik in his slippers (no socks), Lily in a summer dress (no jumper)) that did not bode well! However, I took the time to explain that they both had sensory processing difficulties so that no, I would not force them to wear clothes that made them feel even more unhappy and uncomfortable than they already did, and things moved on swiftly.

The next hurdle was the abundance of food...which couldn't be touched as not everyone had arrived yet. My guys are not used to this kind of arrangement as usually, people are visiting us and it is our rules. They did however manage to leave the food alone until it was time. Success!

Then the present opening began. Now, all of you with children will understand how hard it is for a child to sit back and watch presents being opened when they themselves have none...and those with special needs children will realise that this is especially difficult for Dominik for has a strong need to be in complete control of his environment at all times. The lack of control during the opening of presents must feel horrendous for him. But, he did it. he managed to pretty much sit still and out of the way whilst the other children ripped open their gifts and gushed with joy! Success!

After we had eaten, Hannon fell asleep on the sofa (never happened before and I doubt it will ever happen again) and Dominik and Lily played happily with the other children (and chatted away to the adults) until it was time to leave. We stayed for a little over two and half hours and everyone was well fed and had a lovely time. I even received a compliment or two about how my children behaved. Success!

New Year 's Eve was also a great success. It seems that we are cultivating our own traditions for this special night. When I was a child, my parents would let me stay up and have a glass of Bailey's and then they would let me open the back door whilst they opened the front to let the old year out and the new year in.

Well, we have a Chinese takeaway, choose a movie from the year that we would all like to watch again (this year it was 'How To Train Your Dragon 2') and then we each write out a list of wishes (not really confined to resolutions although there are some in there), which we then burn and send off into the universe to manifest! It's becoming a truly special night for us and I can't imagine wanting to spend it any other way any time soon.

And now the New Year is here!

My first job in the New Year is usually to answer a letter from the Bedford Borough Elective Home Education Officer about the previous year's learning. I haven't received the letter yet but I am expecting it early next week.

This will take up a considerable amount of my time for the coming weeks as I do enjoy looking back on all my diaries and calendars and photo's and resources and books, and cataloguing how much things have changed and how far we have all come in what it is really, a very short time. It is a lovely way to remind us all just how much we love our little home school life and just how much we can achieve together.

I will of course share my reports with you all just in case you should be interested

In the meantime, I hope your New Year has gotten off the a great start too.

Here are a few Christmas snaps to wrap up the season.

N x

My Christmas Present...

After resigning myself to getting no presents this year, my 10 year old, Dominik, (who has loads of letters after his name: PDA, ASD, SPD, CAPD etc etc) brought this in to me after working on it for an hour.

Toothless, of 'How To Train Your Dragon' fame, is my favourite fictional dragon.

Now, aside from the birth of my daughter in 2008, on Christmas Eve, and my recently received Decree Absolute (yay), this is my best present EVER, EVER, EVER. Just the fact that he put his time and energy into something so thoughtful and beautiful just for me is enough to keep me smiling well into the new year.

Dominik has recently discovered his passion for drawing and sketching and has expressed a desire to be a graphic designer some day...I think he may be on to something.

Merry Christmas. I hope you all get something just as special as I have.

N x

Misunderstanding and Prejudice.

As a mum of extra-ordinary, special needs children, it is increasingly difficult for me to read countless stories on a daily basis about the amount of misunderstanding and prejudice that is out there in the world of 'professionals'

Everyday I am corresponding with mothers (and some fathers) who are at the end of their tether (and sanity in some cases) when it comes to trying to communicate the needs of their children with those who are meant to be helping them.

There is a stunning lack of empathy and understanding amongst professionals when it comes to supporting a child's sensory, emotional and physical needs. This is particularly evident in the educational establishment, not to mention the paediatric setting and don't even get me started on Social Services.

Let me preface my criticism with this thought - of course there are some amazing professionals out there in the country (and world) but unfortunately they are few and far between. Couple this lack of professional understanding with a parents lack of medical vocabulary, and it can get very adversarial very quickly with the parent often being blamed for their child's needs.

The parents I am corresponding with are telling me that those charged with the safety, education and well-being of their children are simply not listening to them.

They are almost unanimous in their cries of, "They think I'm a bad parent." "They say I lack the skills to the manage my child effectively." "They think he/she is just naughty/attention seeking/dramatic/uncooperative." And the list goes on and is exacerbated by a further lack of adequate diagnosis from the paediatric teams. This is particularly true in the case of Pathological Demand Avoidance which is not in the manual and is therefore 'not even a real condition' but simply a parents excuse for poor behaviour. As a side note, not all parts of the country refuse to diagnose PDA making it even harder for parents to figure out where to turn.

Parents often face the above charges without the professional having spent much more than a few hours with their child and even when parents present video evidence, behaviour diaries and testimony from others who care for their child they are still ignored. How can this be?

The professional literature would have us believe that WE are the experts on our children (and of course, we are) and yet in reality, we are ridiculed, belittled and patronised and, more often than not, sent on parenting courses which, in my opinion, is the worst insult of all, especially if you are the parent of more than one child and the others are 'conforming' and 'behaving well' with no obvious difficulties. Surely this alone indicates that it is not the fault of the parent?

My son has Sensory Processing Disorder (a condition commonly diagnosed alongside an ASD) and he often needs deep pressure, movement breaks, quiet time, something to chew or fiddle with and more sensory feedback from his environment (a sensory diet). He can react violently to loud noises, bright lights, too many people and strong smells. As his mum, I know what might cause extreme reactions and I am able to monitor and control his environment when necessary to avoid the sensory overload. I know when he needs his ear-defenders or his chewing gum or even a great big squeeze!

I don't think these adaptations are unreasonable if it allows him to regulate himself and participate in 'normal' activities! They are a necessary part of his 'therapy' and have a huge impact on his behaviour. I think they should be respected, just as you would allow a diabetic to take their insulin, or a wheelchair user to be able to use a lift. Just because they are not visible, it does not mean they are not real.

Now, why can't the professionals accept and meet these needs too? If my son were at school, I would send him armed with a list of strategies and techniques to give to the professionals in order to help them understand and support him. I would give them a very long tip sheet about PDA and how best to get him on board with any given task so that he stands the best chance of being able to comply and enjoy what he is doing. What parent wouldn't?

However, the chances are, my carefully though-out tip sheet and long list of successful strategies would be ignored/forgotten in amongst the mass of other tasks that teachers/TA's have to do in a day.

Fair enough, I guess. They do have a lot to do (and lots of other needs to take into account) but, if they do not utilise our suggestions, surely the resulting punishment of our children is discrimination? They are inevitably punishing our children for their disability! How can this ever be acceptable?

I read about illegal exclusions and draconian punishments DAILY which are a direct result of teachers and TA's being unable to meet the needs of our very special children. I admit, these needs are high, but the professionals have a duty of care, and they accept that duty of care and when they fail to meet the standard of care our children deserve, what are the consequences?

The consequences are disastrous. Not only for the teachers, TA's and other children affected during the school day, but also for the child in question and just as importantly, for the child's family when the school day ends.

When that child goes home they will need to release all that tension, frustration, upset and sensory overload somehow. They will more often than not, explode through the door at home and unleash a storm of fury and pent up anger all over their loved ones.

And here enters another 'professional' who, when told about this set of behaviours, instantly thinks that there must therefore be a problem at home! How ludicrous! How uninformed! How insulting!

No, Mr or Mrs Professional, this does not mean there must be a problem at home. On the contrary in fact, it means that home is where this child feels safe enough to let it all 'hang out'. This is where they can release and be themselves without fear of punishment, ridicule or reprisal for their behaviour.

Home is where all of the unmet needs of the day manifest into behaviours which communicate just how badly that child has been failed by their care-givers during their day.

Parents have to deal with the fall out of a failing system only to be told that their parenting is at fault! That their child's behaviour is a result of their lack of boundaries and training on their part.

Sigh.

It is such a soul destroying situation for these parents. Not only is their child being failed, but now they are being blamed for that failure.

How can we begin to address this issue? 

Well, I think, knowledge, knowledge and more knowledge is the only realistic and long-term answer.

Gathering this knowledge from caring, empathetic professionals (Jude Seaward and Felicity Evans to name two I know of), other parents, adults with special needs (who have long since left behind their school days) and of course, listening to our children, is the best way forward.

Places like The Avenue, and volunteers like Joanne, Elaine and Sarah, who are dedicated to expanding the knowledge of parents and carers, is the future.

It is groups like The Avenue that will make the difference to our children by empowering parents and informing professionals.

It is only when parents are given the confidence and appropriate vocabulary that they will be able to effectively advocate for the rights of their special children.

So, please, please, please, spread the word.

Share your experiences.
Share your knowledge.
Share your thoughts and feelings.
Share with anyone who will listen.

Do not be embarrassed (or shy) about disagreeing with a 'professional'.
Do not be intimidated by their qualifications.
Do not let them claim that they know better than you if what they are saying goes against your instincts and ignores your knowledge of your child.

Trust yourself. Get informed. Ask questions.

Be the best advocate you can be.

N x

Controversial (or not) Christmas ideas. First published 2014.

I thought I would write a few words about Christmas and how it's going for us this year (and it is an excuse to post a picture of my tree which is, honestly, the best bit for me)!

So, for those of you with little ones who are at school, I imagine this time of year must be particularly challenging not least because of the following;

• Mufti-days
• Carol Services
• Timetable changes
• Nativity Plays
• Decorations
• Staff absence 

to  name but a few of the school based changes. 

But what about if we include;

• School holidays
• Visiting relatives
• Christmas Trees and decorations
• Furniture being relocated
• Presents (and the accompanying anxiety)
• All predictability vanished
• Extra people everywhere

And perhaps even;

• Parties
• Father Christmas himself
• Family events
• Photo ops
• Different foods
• Different clothes
• An abundance of chocolate/sweets and treats everywhere
• Anxiety at its maximum surrounding the idea of being 'good/well behaved/deserving'

This is perhaps the most challenging time of year for us families with children (and adults) on the Autistic Spectrum so I thought I would share with you a few of my ideas designed to make life a little less stressful.

It is my hope that they will help things to  run more smoothly (and joyously), in your home too during this Christmas Season.

Preparation, Preparation, Preparation.

This cannot be said enough! Prepare to the nth degree!

Let your child create their own special visual timetable (in the form of an advent calendar maybe) so that they can anticipate all the events at school and at home. Let them talk to you about everything that they remember about the changes and how that makes them feel and what they feel they can and cannot cope with.

Enable them to choose, to as large an extent as possible, what they want to participate in and what they don't in the school calendar and respect their wishes. Be the best advocate for child that you can be and ensure that they get the Christmas they want too. Struggling is not a nice way to live at any time but at Christmas, when everyone else is smiling and happy, it must be even worse.

Bribery & Coercion

I think it is all too common that parents begin using Santa (and presents) as a 'carrot/stick' once Christmastime comes around. Children all over the Western world are worrying themselves half to death about their behaviour and whether or not they have been 'good' enough to deserve presents.

It is my firm belief that children will do well if given the environment in which they can do well.

Our special children are already doing their best all the time to manage without breaking down, so at Christmas, when there is so much more at stake, perhaps we should avoid pairing their behaviour with the promise of presents?

A lady told my daughter only the other day that if she 'screamed like that' Santa would hear her and she wouldn't get any presents. Not only was this extremely distressing for my daughter but it was horrible for me too! I do not use this kind of carrot and stick system in my house as a rule (I'm not perfect) and I have to say that to hear it come from a complete stranger was horrifying.

My daughter had been having a difficult (and busy) day and she was getting to the end of her ability to cope (several different shops, in and out of the car, hungry and over-stimulated) and this lady simply made things 100% worse. Sigh.

So, yes, try your hardest to not equate their behaviour with good/bad....they are trying their best.

Shopping/Trips

Please, please, please, unless you have absolutely no choice (or alternatively, they want to come along), let them stay at home! The world is a crappy place for those of us who shun noise, smells, lights, people, being touched and garishness right now! Unless your little one wants to plan a trip (and gets complete autonomy over what happens on that trip, including when to call it quits), don't make them come along.

Visitors

Keep the number of visiting friends and relations to an minimum, or, at the very least, let your child hide out in their room (or in the room that is most comfortable for them) and do not force them to socialise if they don't want to.

As an Aspie adult I can tell you, being made to kiss, hug and chat to people who are basically a load of strangers, is traumatic and exhausting and certainly not 'fun'!

Please be an advocate for your child and warn any visitors, that if they are bringing presents, to expect them to be unwrapped on sight if they are seen by said children! If they do not wish for this to happen then should wait for the opportunity to 'sneak' them in unseen when they can be safely hidden and not add to the anticipation that our children are already feeling with regard to unopened presents.

Also, tell these same visitors what treats/sweets/foods are acceptable in advance so you don't have repeated meltdowns over food.

If you can, decline any invitations that are non-essential. Visiting lots of different homes is stress-inducing due to the amount of unpredictability.

If you do over-do it our little ones will soon unravel and will not have a chance to regroup and recover, and will therefore end up not enjoying the best bits that Christmas has to offer.

Decorating

Allow your child/children to take whatever role they wish in decorating the house and tree (or not). If they are anxious about decorations perhaps put them up as late as you can in family areas and allow any other children to decorate their rooms so that they don't miss out.


I guess you may be curious as to how things are going with my brood in the run up to Christmas this year...well, let me tell you!

• I let them choose when to put up the tree and allowed them to dress it with me (spiking my OCD to the max let me tell you!).
• They are able to make a Christmas List the whole year through and add to it and take things away from it right up until December 1st ,when their lists are officially 'closed'. This is the same every year and it seems to work well and helps to avoid any anxiety associated with 'choosing' and being 'rushed' into decisions. (They also know that once December 1st arrives, there are no more 'incidental' treats as all my 'spare' money goes towards making Christmas awesome).
•  This year, once Dominik had decided what he wanted, I went and bought it for him straight away and gave it to him. He knows he will only have stocking gifts on Christmas Day now (and any presents that people have managed to sneak past him) and this has enabled Dominik to focus on everyday...the here and now...and not on the 'what might or might not be coming' in x number of days. It is the anticipation for him that is the hardest part of present receiving occasions, particularly Christmas, with the Advent Calendar, people constantly asking about his list, people coming to drop off presents and being offended when he wants to open them in the instant he sees them, and of course, people reminding him to be 'good'. So, as much as I get lots of 'tutting' and 'sighing' from friends and relations, I don't care. He is not spoilt. He is happy and calm. This makes for a happier and calmer time for us all but especially for him. Phew. 

I have implemented all of what I have listed above and, touch wood, so far, this has been by far and away the most amazing build up to Christmas there has ever been in my house.

It is a magical time of year so here's hoping it is for all of your families too.

Merry Christmas!

N x

Kids have so much to teach us.

This past week has been full of ups and downs.

There have been a few tense, trying moments (from my personal point of view, probably not the kids) and there have been a couple of days where I only wanted to go back to bed and start over. Sigh.

However, amongst the detritus, there have been a few stunning revelations. Yay!

My 10 year old son (ASD (PDA), Dyspraxia, SPD, CAPD, Misophonia, ADHD) showed me something that blew my mind!

I understand that technology is moving fast. I know that something becomes outdated within a matter of weeks. But this was other-worldly for me.

He showed me a video of Hatsune Miku (live) from 2013.

My first response, was along these lines, "Why, oh why, would people spend all that money to go and watch a hologram?! It's not even real".

And my response was countered by Dominik carefully, and knowledgeably explaining to me how this character (Vocaloid) was created.

Her voice is an entirely digital creation (as is she). She is entirely fictional. A 3D, singing, dancing fictional character on a stage, with an audience. (With a massive fanbase too that created a backstory and persona for her).

In the YouTube comments section, the top comment, by Kaito S, said this:

"For people that doesn't understand why other people would actually pay to see hologram singing and dancing, please let me enlighten you. But this might be a little long so I hope you bear with me :D

(I'd appreciate it if you would upvote this so this will remain at top of the comments for any newcomer to read.)

First off this is Vocaloid's concert, and Vocaloid long story short is a program with voice database inside where you can make songs by putting lyrics and melodies into it. Of course it is incredibly complicated as it has many parameters (like velocity, dynamics, breathiness, clearness, opening, gender factor, portamento timing, pitch end and ect) so its not as simple and easy as you think,

Anyone can practically buy a Vocaloid and make their own songs or cover songs. Users of Vocaloids can directly contribute by compose songs for any vocaloids, and by now (year 2014) the number of Vocaloid songs alone reach up to HUNDREDS OF THOUSAND, and yes I'm not kidding nor do I exaggerating things. Thier creativity doesn't come from a single mind like every other "real" artist, but rather is a collectives from their fans. That's why as long as their community is alive, Vocaloids will be alive as well. I'm even confident that Vocaloids such as Miku will keep going even after 50, or 100, or 200 years from now as she and any other Vocaloids are not shackled by reality. By now you should get my point that by being "not real" is their strongest weapon.

You might argue that their voice is terrible and you don't like it, well I have something to tell you: remember that Voclaoids are just a PROGRAM. So if you hate their voice its their "settings" or "parameters" that you actually hate. You will realise this if you listen enough number of their songs. Even though they are sung by Vocaloids, they sound uniquely different individually. This because each song has different composer, and each composer has their own unique parameter setting. So my point is don't hate Vocaloids, but hate the composer, like you don't hate guitar in general just because there is a guitarist you hate. Given enough effort and luck, you will surely find your favorite composer through out thousands out there :)

So the "thing" you see on that stage is not just a hologram, but a personification of creativeness coming from hundred of thousand of Vocaloid fans (And I should add that actually their fans count up to millions world wide). In a sense it really is a concert from Crypton Vocaloid fans, to their fans, and by their fans. Thats why they are not there simply to see the marveloussness of hologram technology like you think, Its more than that.

I would also like to add that if you search on Google: "Why Hatsune Miku popular" you would find an article from LA Times Magazines. It will give you more detailed and unbiased information around Hatsune Miku than me.

Lastly, whether you agree or disagree with me, please leave me a comment. I'd love to chat with fellow vocaloid fans and make any newcomer (or probably hater) to see vocaloid the same way as I do :)

P.S.: Damn, this is longer than I thought would be :P

-Written by +Clemens Cave 

-Edited by +Ratio Kun 

Ratio Kun / Kaito S Speaking here

Also if you are new to the Vocaloid I will welcome you, please tell me what you like otdislike about the concert or the Vocaloids in the comments, I would like to hear your opinions.

I will make a new post relating to more about the actual Vocaloids and some examples of their voices."

Dominik went on to show me more examples and enquire about the software used, whether his laptop could run the programme, how he would create the character to go with one of his own Vocaloids and generally how much he'd like to play around with it. Wow.

Who can ask for more than this? 

Genuine interest. 

Genuine learning. 

Genuine enthusiasm. 

A genuine desire to explore and expand his world (and ours I guess).

Who would have known a 10 year old could be this inspired? Especially a 10 year old, who, had he gone into traditional education, would have been classed as 'unteachable', 'disruptive', 'disengaged', 'distracted', 'disobedient' (hmmm..lots of 'dis' words in there) etc.

It turns out that he is none of those things. He is everything I, as his teacher, could wish for. 

So, yes, that's one thing down!

The second thing I learnt this week was from my middle son, Hannon, 7 years old. 

He taught me that birds and butterflies actually move as one (learned from 'Wild Kratts')...like the water in a wave, rather than as individuals in a group. Amazing and perhaps more than a little insightful. 

We had this discussion whilst driving back from Ampthill Park after we'd had a trek through the muddy woods and sat in the cafe watching the camera that is fixed on the bird-feeder.  

The camera was fun too actually!

It reminded Hannon instantly of 'Five Nights At Freddy's' (an horror themed Indy game which is essentially a complex puzzle game), and he began playing a game with Lily where they performed 'Five Nights At Freddy's in real life. The funny thing was, we had face-painted before we left the house and Hannon was the 'marionette' from the 2nd game, and Lily was Chica, one of the animatronics. Perfect.

Also this week, Dominik has begun making the family bread, Lily has decided she loves to bake, bump is growing fast now (and I'm getting more tired) and Hannon is now a maze genius after completing this book!

Here are some pictures.

Thanks for reading.

N x

A discussion about therapies.

Last night I was involved in a discussion with a lady called Jude Seaward who has always been my 'go to' for more practical, empathetic approaches to helping my children, and particularly my PDA son. You can find out more about Jude here at her website, "SimplyMisunderstood".

She was asked by someone else in the group we belong to, what the difference was between Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and why one might be more beneficial for children (and adults I guess) with Pathological Demand Avoidance, than the other.

I am going to copy and paste the discussion below as there is not much more I can add. Jude's summary was concise, comprehensive and easily understood.

Here you go!

Jude:

"What I have found is that therapy alone doesn't work, or is very slow. I have found that it must be multi elemental so you look at the environmental changes, teaching a new skill in line with their development and broken into small steps, altering interaction and changing the persons approach.

That is where NLP is slightly better than CBT.

CBT is about challenging people's views and offering alternative thoughts. For example, my friend walked past me and ignored me; 1) because they didn't see me or 2) because they don't like me and are ignoring me. So, CBT would look at the evidence to support or disprove the persons thoughts.

This process, if you think about it, is quite directive, and in some ways challenging. This, in its own way, becomes a demand.

With NLP, it's about building a new thought process and skills, so if you see your friend and they are walking past, you can call them, tap them on the shoulder and so on. You have a shared experience in the process. Instead of being an exploration, you look at the positive thought patterns and plant ideas.

The more you practice them, the more your brain positively reacts to it.

So, instead of with CBT, saying, 'Why am I scared? What can I do about it?', with NLP you would look at, yes, it does worry me but I can do this. Do I need to ask for help, or do I have the skills?

This way it helps the child (or adult) develop coping skills that they can use, (rather than with CBT changing what they think) in a logical format. It is very subtle, the difference, but one is more structured and therapist led (CBT) rather than free-flowing and child-led (NLP).

This is why it works better for kids with PDA...it gives them some control and relationship with the therapist - it is more nurturing.

Also, NLP will take into account the preferred learning manner and get you to be more in touch with your body, helping you to realise what senses you use to take in information from the world.

It's used a lot hypnotherapy where a positive thought is 'planted' to be triggered. For example, I used it when studying and the thought was simple: I like to read and study. This was in line with my natural balance but I reinforced it and it made doing my masters a breeze as I enjoyed it even more! Even now I enjoy a book (but not always a reference book)!"

So, there you have it. The subtle and yet crucial difference between CBT and NLP.

After having this discussion with Jude I realised that, whilst I don't have the technical terms for what goes on in my own home, I am following NLP principles. We constantly build on what makes us happy and helps us to feel accomplished. We rarely talk about 'deficits' and 'struggles'.

All learning in my house, (social, emotional, physical, educational etc.) happens by building on strengths and focussing on positives. I do not ever begin an activity with my children based on the premise that they need to 'improve' or 'practice' as these in themselves devalue where their skill level is at this current time, which in itself can be discouraging (especially for a child with PDA who has massive anxiety about their performance to begin with).

I know I risk sounding like a broken record, but, the unstructured learning approach for kids with PDA  is so very beneficial. It is also, slower and it is more bumpy and it is certainly requires a lot more faith, but, in the long run, it leads to better outcomes because ultimately, it is an internal change and not an external change.

If your child, whether they have the PDA part to their diagnosis or not, is anxious about failure and struggles to get motivated if the task is something that has been forced upon them, please consider how NLP and using different language might help.

Are you building on their passions? Are you harnessing their interests? Are you strengthening their confidence and self-esteem by using a 'can do' attitude?

I hope you have taken something from this short discussion that can be of use for your family.

Have a great day,

N x

An afternoon window shopping.

Fair warning
DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN READ THIS BLOG PAGE AS IT MAY CAUSE CATASTROPHE 

(well, not really a catastrophe, but certainly a massive a whole in your wallet)!

My son, Dominik, loves, loves, loves a YouTube channel called Vat19. Find their website here.

It is basically an innovative, geeky team of guys and gals who find, test, promote and then sell unusual and awesome products.

I think they seem particularly geared towards those of us who are slightly more quirky than the norm!

Yesterday afternoon my kiddos and I sat and watched dozens of their product reviews on YouTube and had an absolute blast.

In my opinion they have a high educational slant as well as being super fun and highly sensory.

Here is our wish list!

Jishaku - Master the art of magnetic attraction with Jishaku, the strategic boardgame.Your goal is to place all of your magnetic "stones" on the Jishaku board without any of them touching each other. This is simple at first, but becomes increasingly challenging as the board fills up. Stones will twist, turn, and jump as you search for a safe location. Make a mistake and a flurry of magnetic action will end with a half dozen stones stuck together.

Tenzi - Tenzi is the fast-paced and frenzied dice-rolling game for 2-4 players. The concept is simple, the game-play is lightning fast, and the fun is immediate.Here's how to play: be the first player to roll all ten of your dice to the same number.Because speed is essential to winning, Tenzi creates frantic bursts of sloppy and sometimes erratic dice rolling and oftentimes induces frustrated screaming and indiscriminate insults. It's almost too much fun!

Konexi - If Scrabble and Jenga got together and had a bit too much to drink, Konexi might be their "gift" nine months later.Konexi is played by taking turns adding notched letters to a teetering tower of words. The longer the word you spell, the more points you are awarded. But be careful, the next letter you place could topple the entire tower.

Piperoid - Paper Pie Robots - Piperoids are desk-sized robotic characters made entirely from colorful paper pipes. Starting with a handful of tubes and only a pair of scissors, you can build a Piperoid Robot in roughly 30 minutes via a series of cuts and folds.Because all Piperoid characters are built using the same diameter of pipes, pieces can be interchanged to create awesome hybrids. Furthermore, the absence of glue and tape allows you to move all of their joints.

Fastrack - Fastrack is a frenetic desktop disc flinging game. Your goal is to shoot your five wooden discs into your opponent's half of the court. The catch? The opening is only a quarter-inch wider than your ammo.Therefore, you must aim carefully as you pull back on the elastic band used to fire your discs. But don't dilly dally or you'll surely be bombarded and overwhelmed by your opponent. Ride the fine line between speed and accuracy to win the day.

Timeline - The Game - In Timeline, your objective is to correctly place inventions in chronological order. This involves asking yourself questions like, "Was barbed wire invented before or after the can opener?" Yeah. Not so easy.At the start of your turn, select a card from your pile (representing one of mankind's creations) and call out its place amongst the table's current timeline of inventions.Next, flip over your card to reveal its date of creation. If correct, add the card to the timeline. Claim victory by being the first to correctly place all of your cards.

The Original Buddha Board - Live in the moment with the Original Buddha Board. With just a dab of water, each stroke of the brush appears like black ink on the surface. Similar to watercolor painting, the Buddha Board produces soft, beautiful images. As the water slowly evaporates, your painting fades and a new blank canvas is revealed.With the mentality of a Zen Buddhist, you're free to create pictures on a whim, without concern for the outcome. The Buddha Board is great for relaxing, clearing your thoughts, and is just plain fun. It's the perfect gift for the hard-to-shop-for.

Sand by Brookstone - Sånd (rhymes with "wand") brings all the fun of beach sand indoors without any of the mess.You can mold it, sculpt it, and write on it just like wet beach sand, but Sånd is completely dry and only sticks to itself — not your hands!Sånd is an ingenious Swedish invention that is 98% regular sand and 2% polymer. But boy, oh boy, that two percent makes a huge difference!Sånd simply has to be felt to be believed. It oozes when you squeeze it, yet you can sculpt it and it will hold its shape. And watching it flow is simply mesmerizing.

And finally,

Magnetic Thinking Putty - Magnetic Thinking Putty takes regular "silly" putty and turns its awesomeness up to 11. Like any other putty, it can be stretched, bounced, molded, popped, and torn. However, when this putty is in the presence of a magnetic field, it exhibits fascinating properties.Millions of tiny micron-sized magnets are embedded in each handful of Magnetic Thinking Putty. Use the included super-strong ceramic magnet to control the putty like a snake charmer. Or "charge" the blob of putty so it can become a magnet of its own and pick up small tacks and paperclips.

I hope you like our discovery and at the very least, that these products have given you some unusual Christmas ideas for the coming holiday season! 

If you do decide to buy any of the above, or better yet, find a UK stockist for these products (outside of Amazon), please do let me know! 

N x

A few Amazing Things Happened this week!

I try to find the time to sit down everyday and count my blessings.

I will admit that my ability to sustain the practice is not great, and I certainly don't manage it 100% of the time, I do do it properly when I remember!

Today, I have done it so I thought I'd share my gratitudes with you.

It was my birthday last week and the children and I went out for lunch. Success.

Last week we attended a fireworks display for the first time ever as a family of four. Success.

Hannon is picking up his reading ability with a vengeance and it is both exciting and awe-inspiring to watch.

Lily is branching out in whole new ways. She is showing signs of maturity in her ability to understand the world around her.

Dominik has not argued with me about any of the following things (which are usually a massive issue for us): teeth brushing, showering, exercising, making healthier food choices, spending time with his siblings...and the list goes on.

Dominik and I had lunch out by ourselves this week too. Such a rare occasion and so lovely when it happens!

Today Dominik and discussed ratios and percentages as s result of his kill/death ratio in Battlefield 4. He also showed an amazing level of skill! I cannot imagine ever being able to master the skills he demonstrates...the speed with which events move on its own is astounding to me. Let alone all the different weapons combinations!

Lily is immersed in a new anime. (My three children love Japanese anime and manga). She is learning to sing the theme tune. She is asking intelligent and interesting questions about the show and its events, It presents lots of discussion points and it also means we can begin a new manga together once we have finished 'Soul Eater' and 'Soul Eater NOT!'.

(For those who don't know, getting to grips with reading a book from back to front and from top right to top left is no mean feat...especially when it is written in block capitals, which is a real challenge for me already)!

Comic books have helped Hannon to learn how to read because the letters are the same as they are on a computer keyboard. He is learning to read by listening (a lot...30 minutes per day, one to one) and by using the letters themselves in his daily activities. He does not like to write (most boys don't I think), so he is able to practice his skills using a more than valid (and let's face it speedier) alternative. He is given as much time as he needs/wants to read/spell with me.

Dominik would like to spend time with a native Japanese speaker. The search is on for someone who likes (and wants) to talk about Pokemon, Nintendo, Manga, Anime and Japanese Mythology...wish me luck won't you!?

Now, I am sure there are many, many other things to be grateful for, (a healthy Harriet bump and wonderful friends to name two more) but, perhaps the one that is stopping me from continuing to write any more, is this one:

Tomorrow, I am having an afternoon and evening out in London, with my absolute best friend in the world, and we are going to see a live performance of 'The Pied Piper of Hamelin', read by Russell Brand, at the Royal Albert Hall with a live orchestra to boot! I am so excited I could pee my pants (which is much more likely these days as it is)!!

So, I hope you can find the time to think about what you are grateful for right now.

It will be soooo worth it.

Sweet dreams.

N x

Is your Aspie a born gamer?

So, as I am sure many of you know, a large number of Aspies seem to arrive with an inbuilt love of technology and all things digital.

My oldest son is no exception!

I have found that above all else, gaming is the best way to engage him in true, meaningful learning experiences that are self-motivated and highly rewarding (the virtual trophies, the new high scores, the online competition and the ultimate goal of game completion).

I have often felt conflicted about the benefits of gaming and about the level of his obsession,but as time has passed, I have learnt, read, watched and experienced so much that I no longer feel any conflict.

I hope that by writing this, some of you, who are perhaps still skeptical, might gain a new perspective and understanding, and perhaps even support your child's less than 'politically correct' hobby.

A bit of background.

Dominik was obsessed with the computer from around the age of 3. He would repeatedly attempt to 'break into' our family pc by trying many different passwords over and over again, giving up and switching it off by the power switch to just begin all over again! Eventually we decided to teach him how to use it rather than constantly having to do pc maintenance because of repeated, unnecessary rebooting!

He had some simple games revolving around 'Thomas the Tank Engine', 'Dora the Explorer' and 'Bob the Builder' to begin with and invariably completed them on the first try so we expanded his horizons to BBC Bitesize, OMGPop, National Geographic Kids and a few other 'kid friendly' sites that I have long since forgotten.

He would spend hours watching his dad playing 'Morrowind', 'Evony', 'Kings Bounty', 'World of Goo' and playing strategy/tower defense, puzzle and brain training games on King.com!

So, after several more years, along came 'Minecraft'!

I introduced Dominik to 'Minecraft' when he was just over 7 years old when the game was still being heavily developed and improved.

Well, it was like I had opened Pandora's box! 'Minecraft' combined his love of the PC, Lego, sand box games, YouTube research, real life physics, multiplayer servers and much, much more. He was in love and still is to this day. We have 'Minecraft' on our tablets, on our PS3, on our XBox and on our PC's.

If you are unfamiliar (or even skeptical) of the benefits of 'Minecraft', here are some useful links:

Minecraft In Education
Hey, Parents. What Minecraft Is Doing to Your Kids Is Kind of Surprising. (includes some excellent videos too)

The Benefits of Minecraft for Children

I could go on, but, if you are truly interested, you will have the idea by now! If not, then you should probably stop reading here as it is only going to get more controversial from your point of view!

During this time we also played many games that used real-life physics engines: 'The Incredible Machine', 'Happy Wheels' (yuk) and 'Crayola Physics' to name a few.

We played 'Bookworm', 'Scrabble', 'Spore', 'Worms', 'Little Big Planet' and countless 'Lego' games!

Using the 'Minecraft' multiplayer model, Dominik moved onto 'Steam' games ('Team Fortress 2', 'Portal', 'Half Life' and 'Binding of Isaac' (yuk)). 'Steam' offered him further opportunities to make new and interesting friends from around the world (some of whom he still speaks to to this day on 'Skype'), as well as improving his typing, reading and social skills (all unexpected and welcome events).

We bought ourselves a second hand Wii gaming system for his 8th Birthday and the fun just kept on coming! 'Mario Kart', 'Wii Sports' 'Raving Rabids' and the 'Zelda' games just expanded our repertoire further and allowed us to incorporate more gross motor skills into our learning, as well as continuing to improve his fine motor skills.

Whilst the learning is taking place, there is another important factor to consider...the family time! The joys of racing each other, out-shooting each other and sabotaging each other cannot be underestimated! We have had so many hours of laughter and family bonding over the Wii it is worth its weight in gold as far as I am concerned.

At this current time we have the following gaming systems in our house:

PS2
PS3 (x2)
Wii (x2)
Nintendo DS
Nintendo 3DS
PSP
XBox 360
Tablet (x3)
Laptop (x3)
Super Nintendo

So, as you can tell, I have now fully embraced my sons expensive hobby!

Some more games that stand out as being instrumental in his learning have been:

'Guitar Hero'
'DJ Hero'
'Band Hero'
'Portal 2'
'Mirrors Edge'
All of the 'Call of Duty' games
All of the 'Sonic' games we have
All of the 'Lego' games we have
All of the 'Mario' games we have
'Skyrim'
'Pokemon'
'Tomadachi Life'
'Angry Birds'
'Plants vs Zombies'

I am sure you are asking yourself how it is possible that these games could lead to learning experiences, well, I am going to tell you!

I am going to focus on the 'shoot-'em-up' type of game as I think this is the most controversial type of game in the grand scheme of things but here are some links to general gaming benefits/pitfalls:

STUDY FINDS CHILDREN BENEFIT FROM PLAYING VIDEO GAMES

10 Benefits of Video Games

Video game play may provide learning, health, social benefits, review finds

Are There Benefits in Playing Video Games?

The educational benefits of videogames

Gaming Can Make A Better World

Benefits of Gaming - A Graphical Representation


So, the 'Call Of Duty' series and others like it, were the games that I resisted buying for the longest period of time. I am an anarchist (please look up the definition if you think it is synonymous with violence of any kind) and a pacifist and I hate the idea of warfare full stop.

Buying the first game (which I bought last Christmas after having had the PS3 for two whole years prior to that), was a big step for me and a huge leap of faith.

I spent many hours watching Dominik playing these games trying to ascertain what the benefits are, as I was certain there must be some given the level of popularity of this particular genre.

He has learnt the following from these games as far as I can tell (this list is by no means exhaustive):

• remarkable hand eye coordination
• problem solving
• strategy and planning
• teamwork
• focus
• communication
• patience
• logistics
• weapons expertise
• history
• military history
• geography
• English

The reason I decided to write this blog entry happened last night. Dominik chose to buy a new shoot-'em-up' game yesterday called 'Battlefield 4'.

As I watched him, I noticed that the graphics were of outstanding quality....such outstanding quality that the glare from the sun can affect gameplay and requires you to plan your strategy. The game engine is so precise as to allow you to walk on girders (if you are able), to plant bombs in rail cars and then close the doors to remote detonate them if an enemy enters the area and to parachute into areas occupied by the enemy and infiltrate their base. This particular game has an added element that intrigued me enough to actually play!

You can download and install, on any tablet, an app called 'Battlefield Commander'. This allows you to join the server that you are playing on on your PS3 and 'command' the gameplay. This enables further strategy and planning, the use of EMP's to disable to enemy teams communications and so much more.

Yes, not nice I hear you cry! I agree! I DO NOT envisage my son being military material and yes, I hate the idea that he is being 'trained' in modern warfare, but the long and short of it is, he is.

And he is extremely good at it.

The benefits of watching (and playing) these games with Dominik are that I am able to discuss some of life's' bigger questions with him within a context that he understands and loves.

How does he feel about war?
How does he feel about unmanned drones?
How does he feel about remote warfare?
Does he realize his skill set is one of a 'soldier of the future', where robots and unmanned vehicles will be the norm?
Does he realise that being able to control machines via game console controllers is something the military are really interested in? (Game Controllers Driving Drones, Nukes, Army fly UAV spyplane with Xbox 360 controller, Us Army Remote Vehicles Using Xbox 360 Controller?, Wii All You Can Be? Why the Military Needs the Gaming Industry, War Games and the list goes on).

Whilst Dominik is uncomfortable with this reality, even he has to concede that I have a point! Through these discussions and many others like them, I hope that (as he matures), he will be able to make the right choices for himself...whether I agree with them or not.

It is not my place to make decisions about how he should prepare for his future. I do not have a crystal ball. I do not know what the future holds.

I want my children to make decisions that are right for them, not me. It is my job to ensure that he is fully informed and that he has a moral grounding that is sturdy. I am doing that to the best of my ability whilst enabling him to pursue his interests.

Whilst people are frowning upon 'gamers' as a group, they might want to consider that one day, in the not too distant future, a gamer might be responsible for saving their life.

The technology is not going to go away.
The horse has already bolted.

My son, and the millions of others like him, are being trained for war and they are the future.

I wonder what it will hold.

N

The Unravelling!

Those of you with children on the Autistic Spectrum are all well aware of the concept of unravelling I am sure, but I wanted to tell you a little my daughter Lily who is 5, going on 15 (and soon to be 6)!

Lily was born, unassisted, in Peru in 2008, in a room overlooking the sea, in a tiny village called Los Organos. She was born in the early hours of Christmas Eve and therefore earned the affectionate nickname of Angel De Navidad...Christmas Angel.

It was a very fast, easy labour and delivery and because of the time difference, we were able to Skype with our family in England shortly after she was born so everyone could see her.

She was a lovely baby. Smiley, affectionate, easily humoured and friendly. She met all the milestones with ease, fed well and developed with no obvious 'disabilities'.

We lived in Peru until Lily was 15 months old when a family breakdown forced us to return to Bedford.

Upon our return we were homeless and income-less so we stayed with my mum. She lives in a three bedroom semi so the little ones and I shared a room! Dominik had his own, my mum had her own too and I shared with Lily and Hannon.

It was around January 2010 that I began to investigate Dominik's quirks and discovered that he had a myriad of differences.

I suppose being alerted to all the different neurological conditions opened my eyes to all the possibilities and I began seeing Lily in a different light.

She wasn't happy being dressed. She did not sleep well. She wasn't happy with any kind of change. She became fussy and obsessive. She was resistant to new people and places and she adored her nanny!

I suspected she had an Autistic Spectrum Disorder with the often found sensory integration diffculties to boot very similar to her oldest brother.

Fortunately, our life was structured in such a way that I was able to accommodate her differences with ease most of the time. The decision to home school was a blessing in disguise! It enabled us to find our own rhythm and it helped me to understand Lily (and Dominik and Hannon) better than I would have been able to had they been away from me for hours every day.

Lily's difficulties continued to expand. She was edgy, nervous, aggressive and took to running away whenever she was upset/angry/overwhelmed or unable to communicate properly.

Between the ages of 3 and 5 she was at her most challenging. We could not go shopping, to busy parks nor noisy play centres and we could not travel any distance in a car at all.

She would take hours over a meal, procrastinate about clothes and shoe choices and point blank refuse to do anything that was outside of her comfort zone.

Life was becoming more and more isolated with two little ones on the spectrum.

When Dominik was 9 and Lily was 5, I applied for Disability Living Allowance. I was successful for Dominik in the first instance but it took two tries to get Lily an award.

The first thing I did was find a local homoeopath with knowledge of Autism. I contacted Alison Jones who agreed to meet us all and see what she could offer.

Alison was a godsend. Her patience, tenacity and understanding made a refreshing change after the professionals I had met up until that time.

She put Dominik on a series of remedies and the difference was almost immediate.

I decided to ask Alison to treat Lily and Hannon too.

Lily began seeing Alison in early 2014. She was given several remedies to tackle her challenging behaviour from several angles. We dealt with language, maturity and tried to increase her sense of calm.

Lily has been a completely different child during this time. So different in fact, that I began to question whether or not I had imagined all the difficulties she was experiencing.

Things have now changed!

For those of you who do not know anything about homoeopathy, there are a couple of stages that the remedies go through. There is a 'proving' stage where you expect to see an escalation of the symptoms for a short time (this means they are having an effect) and then there is a settling period where the remedies 'find their mark' so to speak and the behaviours are diminished, or in Lily's case, eliminated completely.

Lily has been stable since early summer. Her remedies has varied slightly but have not 'tailed off' to any extent. She has matured, her language has flourished, she has not had any violent episodes nor has she had trouble sleeping. We have had a real life!

At the end of last week that all changed! The remedies seem to have finally run their course and the difference has indeed led to an unravelling the likes of which I have never seen before.

She is anxious, easily upset, extremely emotional and fragile. She is punching, kicking, running away, hiding, screaming and reverting to the behaviours of a toddler to make her point. She also seems to have forgotten how to use any words at all at times of high anxiety. It has been an eye-opening and depressing few days.

These kiddos have a tendency to lull us into a false sense of security I think. Many weeks can pass without incident and then, out of nowhere it seems, everything regresses. Sigh. It is so disheartening and so very distressing to watch it happen. To see Lily so traumatised by her own mood changes has been horrible. She is at an age now where she is very self-aware. She knows that she is behaving differently and this alone frightens her compounding the problems further.

Lily was given an emergency remedy this morning and has had a semi-aggressive reaction which was thankfully, short-lived!

I hope we are now back on track but only time will tell.

There are a couple of good things to come out of this experience and they are:
Firstly, I wasn't imagining her 'disability' in the first place. And secondly, the homoeopathy is having a huge impact on her behaviours in a positive direction.

If you have any questions, please do contact me. I would love to share our experience some more.

Here's wishing for a quiet day for us all!

N