I thought it was about time I mentioned a few recent unschooling wins!
Lily is now reading almost fluently and loving her new-found freedom. Not only is she better able to communicate with and understand the world around her, she is also brimming with a new level of confidence in her own ability to learn!
She has gone from reading simple children's bedtime stories, to young adult manga in a matter of weeks. She has revolutionised her own bedtimes in the process. She is now getting in to bed without any electronic media and she is reading (and sometimes drawing) until she feels tired. This doesn't mean we are without incident completely, every night, but it does mean it is far more manageable and that Lily is far calmer and happier.
We have talked again bedtimes as a family, but we are all agreed that they are working really well as they are and we all feel that we are benefiting from them in a positive way. This means we maintain the status quo. Yay!
Hannon and Lily get into bed at 9pm, with all electronics gone by 10pm and then reading for as long as you wish. Dominik stops gaming by 11pm and is in bed with his PS4 off by 12. He has chosen to have his tablet, as he will only read online. He is currently immersed in Undertale fan comics (more on this later).
Lily has also learnt to write by hand. This is something that has never come naturally to the boys, but Lily has taken to it like a duck to water. The boys are happier to type. Full stop. They do not have the skills at the moment to hold a pencil comfortably so typing is far quicker and feels nicer. They can both spell well and Dominik requested that I buy an Usborne book on spelling, punctuation, grammar etc. so he is actively learning some grammar! :-) Again though, Lily has picked up grammar very easily. In fact, I'm not sure we have even talked to each other about it. She may have heard me talking about it with the boys though. Either way, she rocks at punctuation! She wrote a note for my mum this week and it was simply beautiful. I will try and remember to upload a picture of it if that is ok with them. The envelope was even addressed - Beryl/Nanny - how lovely is that?
Lily has begun drawing her own little animations on her white board (her favourite and most used Christmas present by far!) almost continuously. She usually draws boys and girls and love hearts etc, but it is fabulous work.
She has been enjoying parkour and is a natural when she actually tries to be present during the lessons! Her physical abilities are extraordinary. She has also picked up some early tennis skills this week too.
I'm sure I could go on but I must tell you about the others.
Hannon has now learnt to use a second online animation programme. He is putting together little animations as well as making games. He is trying to perfect his YouTube intro at the moment. He has also made a few vlogs which seem to get more views than his gaming, much to his surprise!
Hannon has had a friend here for a sleepover this week and it went so well! There are usually a few skirmishes during a visit but this time, not one! Hannon was kind, thoughtful and generous without even a second thought. He allowed our guest to use his computer pretty much continuously whilst he was here. He said it was because his friend doesn't get to use one otherwise, as he only has gaming consoles. This made me think about how important it is that gaming consoles do not forever overshadow personal computers. We have found that having the ability to type on a keyboard makes a huge difference to communication skills and especially spelling abillity. (Google autofil is an issue though so best to turn that off!!) Lily does not have access to a keyboard and is using handwriting. I guess it just goes to show that where there is a will, there is a way.
Today Hannon typed 50 messages to Dominik during a livestream! 50 messages! He even typed one in the font 'Windings' because he thought it would be funny! He even searched for a translator to do it for him!!! Hilarious. Dominik loved it too.
Hannon likes to make and solve puzzles (they all do actually..hmmm, WE all do!) and we were gifted a 'Monster Book of Monsters' which was great for puzzle solving! If you aren't familiar with it, it is a book that featured in the Harry Potter book series that needed to be stroked in order for it to be opened. Well, this one needs a four part code to open it or it gobbles and growls at you with a cute little mouth. They all had marvellous fun setting new codes and trying to crack them! It was brilliant! Every time one of them cracked a code they would open the book, take out what was in the secret compartment, and then replace it with their own (by now) not so secret stuff and say, "This is my book now", to which I would reply, "No it isn't, it is still Hannon's.". They would then say, "But it can't be, only I know the code, so it's now mine!". How could you argue with that logic? So, the book currently belongs to the person who last set the code!
Hannon has been helping around the house completely voluntarily. He is also helping to choose meals with me every week because he is so fussy it is causing me too much stress now. He is helping me choose foods for him that he will eat. Today he ate....wait for it......KIMCHI!!! Yes, my 9 year old boy ate kimchi and asked for more when he was finished. I am so proud of him for trying it. I lived in South Korea when I was 21 and refused to even try it! He is amazing.
Ok...move on Natasha.
On to Dominik. He has been reducing his competitive gaming time gradually. He is realising what we already know and that is that he is far nicer to be around when he doesn't do it at all. I know. It truly sucks. He is gutted at the result of our experiment. I think we all are actually. We all want him to be able to play the games he adores but we have all seen that without them, he can function far easier. We think it is simply over-stimulation. He gets so agitated that he cannot manage anything else. Not even a conversation some days. He is playing fewer games and he is spending more time with me. He is also spending more time with Hannon, which Hannon loves.
He has continued with his physical exercises too and says that he hopes to return to parkour one day and to take up archery with Hannon and I. He is optimistic about the impending neuro-developmental therapy and is eager to get on with it.
What an incredible change. He is actually taking charge of his own well-being in a big way. He is embracing changes to himself like never before. I have talked to him about the possibility that his behaviour may change once he begins the therapy and he seems to understand that too. I am so proud of the leaps he is taking. He is also monitoring his diet and getting dressed and undressed at the end of each day. Not made much progress with bathing nor teeth brushing but baby steps are good.
Oh, yes! The Undertale fan comics! Dominik has begun writing Undertale (a new-ish game following on from FNAF) fan stories! It is called 'fanfiction' and he loves it! He has written at least two of his own so far. He brought one to me to read and I began talking to him about grammar and punctuation and the importance of structure for your story-telling. At first he was frustrated and cross and then he listened to me read his story without any punctuation and then again, but with some punctuation.
He immediately identified the difference and realised that his lack of 'theory of mind' was inhibiting him. He had assumed we would all read it how he does completely forgetting that we are NOT him!
Once I physically showed him what would happen to the reader, he understood immediately. Yay!
Just proves that practical, one to one support is priceless.
Especially with children who have communication difficulties.
NB - That ('communication difficulties') is NOT just a phrase for SEN advocates to bandy about! It actually means something! You must be practical in your teaching! It must be real! NOT realistic! It cannot be learnt via a make believe story, at least not to any real depth of understanding in my humble opinion. It MUST happen TO THEM. Not AT THEM. I am speaking from experience!
Domink has been taking strides I was unsure I would see.
And I suppose I should include Harriet?
Oh, ok then.
She is still, completely lovely. Today we had a baby visitor and she simply hugged and kissed him, and hugged and kissed him for about the first ten minutes of his visit. She just wanted to love him. It was quite obsessive and she was doing it with no prompting at all. It was beautiful. She's an empath of the highest order! You could see him visibly start to relax even in this new, strange, noisy environment. He left his mum without a glance and began smiling and playing happily as soon as she was done.
She is also walking! Yay! Oh man, she took a few steps in the week before Easter weekend and then on Easter Sunday she just walked! Over 50% of that day, she was on her feet. She was so proud and excited that she had finally got the hang of it! She is now only walking. Within two weeks she has gone from crawling to only walking. The downside is that she now does not want to go to sleep. Ever!! It is tiring me out a little but, meh, it'll pass and she is so happy I don't care! Today we went for a little walk to the end of the road and last week she walked around her first park, choosing her rides and her explorations. Harriet is truly content and happy with her life right now.
Her comprehension is excellent. There are very few daily routines that she doesn't comprehend now. She can communicate what she wants very effectively too. She rarely screams for attention but she does 'tantrum' if she doesn't get her way. I am hoping this will get better when she truly understands that I will let her do anything that does not pose a significant risk to her or us (or the cat)!
Harriet is a blessing as I always knew she would be. There is no love like the love from Harriet.
Ok, that's enough.
I'm exhausted and I want to snuggle with everyone before they get to sleep!
Love to you all from our unschooling bubble.
N x
Showing posts with label curiosity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label curiosity. Show all posts
Friday, 8 April 2016
Monday, 25 January 2016
The bad and the good.
I have come to believe that after the bad comes the good.
I am not sure whether or not this is actually a philosophical question (a la Augustine) but for us, when there has been a true sh*t storm, there then comes a precious calm.
During this awkward time of such rampant and blatant persecution in our country (world?) (whether that be because of your religion, race, disability, sexual preference, choice to home educate etc etc etc) big things are happening.
In the last week I have spoken to three different parents who had just/were about to de-register their children from school.
It is almost as if, by way of their blatant persecution and singling out of the alternative education community (NSPCC report, the saddening, recent (but not current) story about the little boy in Wales, the supposed ' hidden' ulterior motive whereby parents mean to 'radicalise' children, Loose Women), the government have in fact created a tidal wave of people having a closer look at this area.
So, for home education, one of my passions, parents are actually considering the question on a massive scale. This is giving the home education community an unprecedented opportunity to discuss their choice rationally, animatedly and perhaps most importantly, logically (because the success of individualised learning is well known and should be the gold standard for every educational establishment, not just home education), In this article from 2010 in the Guardian newspaper, you can see this quite clearly.
So, yes, this full frontal assault has resulted in an amazing opportunity for everyone. Let's talk about it. Properly. Using evidence and experience and whilst feeling confident in our ability to make the best choice for our family. Let's not fight amongst ourselves.
It is really no one else's business how you and I as parents choose to educate our child/ren. We're all doing our best!
The major point to be taken from these kinds of massive, light-shedding events (specifically the home education events in this instance) is that all choices/options are valid. We can't like them all (some are truly horrifying indeed in the broadest sense of these events) but we have to respect peoples rights to make them all. It sucks at times, but mostly it is what makes us free. Choice, as they say in 'The Matrix', is the problem.
But, I digress, what inspired me to write this post in the first place, is my current experience with my kids.
This past week has been truly horrendous at times, ('throwing in the towel' kind of horrendous) but, that utter madness has been concluded with exactly the opposite degree of madness.
The level of achievement in my house right now!
The communication, the the life skills, positivity, learning ...you name it. I am so energised by the progress occurring in my house that I am hardly needing to sleep! For the first time in my life I am surviving on about 6 hours...and not feeling tired! Something must be fuelling me and I think it is the children.
Harriet is apparently in training to one day climb Mount Everest! She would surely be 'The World's Climbing Champion' ... in the under 12 months category!!! She is so fast, so sure footed and so determined. I simply stand by her and help her learn how to do it safely. It is heart-stoppingly nerve-racking but it is so worth it! She goes easily and confidently up the stairs now. She can get down from a bed. She attempts to climb up into her high chair and will push things around to climb somewhere she wants to go but can't!! She is also loving a set of little stackable eggs with a duckling in the middle. Watching her figure out how to do it is so fun. She also LOVES being read and sung to. 'Dear Zoo' and any song will do.
Lily has suddenly, and I mean over night, gone from not doing any maths to doing additions of three figure numbers, subtractions of three figure numbers and is beginning to understand the idea of 'times tables' and why they are helpful.
As an aside, I feel that school does this the wrong way around. They try to teach the times tables before children learn for themselves why they are good to learn! It is much easier when the child is motivated by their own experience to explain to them a new concept which they now know, will be helpful to them now, and in the future.
Dominik has yet to 'avoid' a single day of his physiotherapy work. He is still doing parkour. He too has suddenly found the relevant patterns in maths (but still won't work with any odd numbers!!!). He is also trying his hand at his first model kit. Loving it, but finding it challenging for his fine motor skills. Excellent! Oh, and he bought a comic with his own money! Unheard of. He is reading again.
(We realised tonight that we all have our own bookshelves..such a lovely moment.)
Hannon has just simply worked like a trojan on his coding. But, alas, I truly have no idea how well he is doing. I know that he is not nine yet, and that he began learning at the end of October after doing two tutorials with me, but is his progress considered 'good'?
Meh, who cares! Hannon is learning so much, so fast, and with so much enthusiasm that I do not think that the kindest measurement of this is one that means he feels he is in competition with anyone aside from himself! If he is happy with what he is learning, that is good enough for me. He is achieving to his highest possible standard. Brilliant.
He is also still attending Cubs after asking to quit in October! He's slightly wary but knows that I will allow him to stop at the end of any month if he wants to. But that has not happened yet!
He is actively enjoying things now. Partly because the pressure if off to stay and partly because the activities have suddenly become slightly more 'challenging' and it turns out, that he is excelling! Now that the number of 'games' that he doesn't know have decreased the tables have turned.
He has, on two occasions, been the only child to successfully complete both the co-ordinates task (he was also, coincidentally, the only child there who had not 'done them already') and the first aid task! He was STUNNED and so bloody proud. He really stands out among his peers when it comes to his ability to learn new skills (what we focus on most I guess...not what to learn, but how to learn) and the speed with which he can acquire them if he wants to.
He's a hidden, understated little gem. I cannot believe the grace with which he is growing up given that he is enveloped by two such demanding, strenuous siblings. He is my inspiration.
They all are. I just feel so privileged to be on this journey with them all.
To end, I have these motifs in my bedroom. Call me sentimental but they really do help.
Don't let anyone dull your sparkle
Be the change you wish to see in the world
She can do it
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain
When it rains look for rainbows, when it's dark, look for stars
I have more than those but they are the only ones I can read from where I am sitting! :-)
My hope is that you feel inspired by this to consider your own challenges and demands in a slightly different way for a moment or two.
Without the bad, I wouldn't have the good.
Sleep well.
N x
PS - I am tired now but I want to publish, so please excuse any typos. :-)
I am not sure whether or not this is actually a philosophical question (a la Augustine) but for us, when there has been a true sh*t storm, there then comes a precious calm.
During this awkward time of such rampant and blatant persecution in our country (world?) (whether that be because of your religion, race, disability, sexual preference, choice to home educate etc etc etc) big things are happening.
In the last week I have spoken to three different parents who had just/were about to de-register their children from school.
It is almost as if, by way of their blatant persecution and singling out of the alternative education community (NSPCC report, the saddening, recent (but not current) story about the little boy in Wales, the supposed ' hidden' ulterior motive whereby parents mean to 'radicalise' children, Loose Women), the government have in fact created a tidal wave of people having a closer look at this area.
So, for home education, one of my passions, parents are actually considering the question on a massive scale. This is giving the home education community an unprecedented opportunity to discuss their choice rationally, animatedly and perhaps most importantly, logically (because the success of individualised learning is well known and should be the gold standard for every educational establishment, not just home education), In this article from 2010 in the Guardian newspaper, you can see this quite clearly.
So, yes, this full frontal assault has resulted in an amazing opportunity for everyone. Let's talk about it. Properly. Using evidence and experience and whilst feeling confident in our ability to make the best choice for our family. Let's not fight amongst ourselves.
It is really no one else's business how you and I as parents choose to educate our child/ren. We're all doing our best!
The major point to be taken from these kinds of massive, light-shedding events (specifically the home education events in this instance) is that all choices/options are valid. We can't like them all (some are truly horrifying indeed in the broadest sense of these events) but we have to respect peoples rights to make them all. It sucks at times, but mostly it is what makes us free. Choice, as they say in 'The Matrix', is the problem.
But, I digress, what inspired me to write this post in the first place, is my current experience with my kids.
This past week has been truly horrendous at times, ('throwing in the towel' kind of horrendous) but, that utter madness has been concluded with exactly the opposite degree of madness.
The level of achievement in my house right now!
The communication, the the life skills, positivity, learning ...you name it. I am so energised by the progress occurring in my house that I am hardly needing to sleep! For the first time in my life I am surviving on about 6 hours...and not feeling tired! Something must be fuelling me and I think it is the children.
Harriet is apparently in training to one day climb Mount Everest! She would surely be 'The World's Climbing Champion' ... in the under 12 months category!!! She is so fast, so sure footed and so determined. I simply stand by her and help her learn how to do it safely. It is heart-stoppingly nerve-racking but it is so worth it! She goes easily and confidently up the stairs now. She can get down from a bed. She attempts to climb up into her high chair and will push things around to climb somewhere she wants to go but can't!! She is also loving a set of little stackable eggs with a duckling in the middle. Watching her figure out how to do it is so fun. She also LOVES being read and sung to. 'Dear Zoo' and any song will do.
Lily has suddenly, and I mean over night, gone from not doing any maths to doing additions of three figure numbers, subtractions of three figure numbers and is beginning to understand the idea of 'times tables' and why they are helpful.
As an aside, I feel that school does this the wrong way around. They try to teach the times tables before children learn for themselves why they are good to learn! It is much easier when the child is motivated by their own experience to explain to them a new concept which they now know, will be helpful to them now, and in the future.
Dominik has yet to 'avoid' a single day of his physiotherapy work. He is still doing parkour. He too has suddenly found the relevant patterns in maths (but still won't work with any odd numbers!!!). He is also trying his hand at his first model kit. Loving it, but finding it challenging for his fine motor skills. Excellent! Oh, and he bought a comic with his own money! Unheard of. He is reading again.
(We realised tonight that we all have our own bookshelves..such a lovely moment.)
Hannon has just simply worked like a trojan on his coding. But, alas, I truly have no idea how well he is doing. I know that he is not nine yet, and that he began learning at the end of October after doing two tutorials with me, but is his progress considered 'good'?
Meh, who cares! Hannon is learning so much, so fast, and with so much enthusiasm that I do not think that the kindest measurement of this is one that means he feels he is in competition with anyone aside from himself! If he is happy with what he is learning, that is good enough for me. He is achieving to his highest possible standard. Brilliant.
He is also still attending Cubs after asking to quit in October! He's slightly wary but knows that I will allow him to stop at the end of any month if he wants to. But that has not happened yet!
He is actively enjoying things now. Partly because the pressure if off to stay and partly because the activities have suddenly become slightly more 'challenging' and it turns out, that he is excelling! Now that the number of 'games' that he doesn't know have decreased the tables have turned.
He has, on two occasions, been the only child to successfully complete both the co-ordinates task (he was also, coincidentally, the only child there who had not 'done them already') and the first aid task! He was STUNNED and so bloody proud. He really stands out among his peers when it comes to his ability to learn new skills (what we focus on most I guess...not what to learn, but how to learn) and the speed with which he can acquire them if he wants to.
He's a hidden, understated little gem. I cannot believe the grace with which he is growing up given that he is enveloped by two such demanding, strenuous siblings. He is my inspiration.
They all are. I just feel so privileged to be on this journey with them all.
To end, I have these motifs in my bedroom. Call me sentimental but they really do help.
Don't let anyone dull your sparkle
Be the change you wish to see in the world
She can do it
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain
When it rains look for rainbows, when it's dark, look for stars
I have more than those but they are the only ones I can read from where I am sitting! :-)
My hope is that you feel inspired by this to consider your own challenges and demands in a slightly different way for a moment or two.
Without the bad, I wouldn't have the good.
Sleep well.
N x
PS - I am tired now but I want to publish, so please excuse any typos. :-)
Wednesday, 12 August 2015
Addendum to "All arguments are NOT created equal"
Tonight, after reading a post from a member of one of the groups I belong to, I happened to look up what was meant by PACE Parenting and I tried to find out what a PACE course involved.
Well, I was fairly gob-smacked when I started reading to be truthful!
The description resonated so strongly with me that I felt my breath catch. How had I not heard of this?!
It was describing exactly how our house functions when we are all trying our best! These letters and the principles they represent are our conscious goal as a family.
I genuinely thought that what I do is just called 'parenting'. Apparently not! Which led me to thinking about how that could have happened.
How I could have such a minority idea of what 'parenting' is that it requires teaching to other parents?
To be honest, I pretty much always feel 'controversial' when discussing parenting with people...although, I am meeting a fair few super mums these days who are on the same page. You know who you are! ;-)
In truth though, 'parenting' is itself a far too complicated a word. It can be (and often is) easily manipulated by the mass media/culture depending on the last 'research' (see below).
There is always a new 'trend' that parents 'must' conform to or else they are risking possible isolation and/or ridicule because of their lack of 'parenting' skills. Sigh.
I do not subscribe to many things that are considered 'mainstream' and for me, 'parenting' simply means loving unconditionally. That's it. Simple right?
Well, guess what? Loving unconditionally is what PACE describes and that is what I tried really hard to explain in my last post (even though I'm not sure that I really did)!
I don't have to worry now though because here is an excellent description of PACE
By the way, I think the term PACE is now becoming widely used because the term 'attachment parenting' (that's the term I may use sometimes to talk about our ideas and philosophy) has become somewhat disparaged and is perceived to be a little 'fluffy' in modern times (*cough* thanks to the main stream media *cough*).
Well, not to worry because now here comes the latest 'parenting' trend in the form of PACE! Excellent stuff! It can't come soon enough.
Let's spread the love! <3
Not sure I should type the next paragraph because my Aspieness is confused about social convention (no shit right, please see above) and it is now too late to call Cara and ask her for her advice, so here goes nothing!
If any of you reading this would like to contact me to talk about how this works for your little people, with or without complex needs, please do get in touch, I'd love to think it through with you.
I guess you could say it was my 'gift' (as someone on the Autistic Spectrum) to be able to see these principles and apply them (fairly) easily to my own family.
Anyways, if anyone is still reading, thanks.
Take good care,
N x
EDITED TO ADD:
All of the courses I am finding about PACE appear to be aimed at those who are foster carers or adoptive parents, or people working in child protection fields and therapeutic and supportive roles etc. Very few courses are targeting actual biological parents. This is because the focus of 'attachment parenting' in these instances is NOT related to special needs children, nor even children in the 'majority'.
PACE is being 'sold' by people working for adoption agencies/fostering agencies to Local Authorities in order to support their fostering/adoption processes. Obviously, this is great news for all those children.
But, once again, I am left thinking that for some reason, the 'establishment' are perhaps hesitant to give these skills to everyone, sorry, I mean every parent as well as to everyone 'becoming' a parent if you know what I mean.
Imagine a world where the birth parents of all these children who find themselves in foster care were taught the principles of PACE? Surely it would have had a positive effect in at least some of the cases? Hopefully one day we will find out.
I am so sad right now because I know my children do not have any attachment issues (I parent using PACE principles already, doh) but what they do have are complex special needs governed by their senses and neurological conditions (causing me to parent this way in the first place if I'm being truly honest, they taught me everything I know) and if other parents don't know any of this yet (that just loving, accepting, understanding, listening, empathising etc etc works miracles) then they need to be told too!
So, please, fellow parents (and especially those of you with children with special needs), do not feel that you are being criticised by the mainstream and do not feel that you have somehow 'caused' your child's special needs just because so many of their difficulties cross paths with those who have suffered some kind of attachment malfunction.
What has in fact happened is that you now know that your child was born with these 'special needs' in order to teach you these important principles themselves...for free! Voluntarily! Not via some crazy expensive, mostly inaccessible course! Aren't we lucky?!
Kids ALL need showering with the principles of PACE (playfulness, acceptance, curiosity and empathy), shit, all ADULTS need some extra loving from the PACE principles too!
Go on, try it.
N x
PS - I really am going to sleep now.
Well, I was fairly gob-smacked when I started reading to be truthful!
The description resonated so strongly with me that I felt my breath catch. How had I not heard of this?!
It was describing exactly how our house functions when we are all trying our best! These letters and the principles they represent are our conscious goal as a family.
I genuinely thought that what I do is just called 'parenting'. Apparently not! Which led me to thinking about how that could have happened.
How I could have such a minority idea of what 'parenting' is that it requires teaching to other parents?
To be honest, I pretty much always feel 'controversial' when discussing parenting with people...although, I am meeting a fair few super mums these days who are on the same page. You know who you are! ;-)
In truth though, 'parenting' is itself a far too complicated a word. It can be (and often is) easily manipulated by the mass media/culture depending on the last 'research' (see below).
There is always a new 'trend' that parents 'must' conform to or else they are risking possible isolation and/or ridicule because of their lack of 'parenting' skills. Sigh.
I do not subscribe to many things that are considered 'mainstream' and for me, 'parenting' simply means loving unconditionally. That's it. Simple right?
Well, guess what? Loving unconditionally is what PACE describes and that is what I tried really hard to explain in my last post (even though I'm not sure that I really did)!
I don't have to worry now though because here is an excellent description of PACE
By the way, I think the term PACE is now becoming widely used because the term 'attachment parenting' (that's the term I may use sometimes to talk about our ideas and philosophy) has become somewhat disparaged and is perceived to be a little 'fluffy' in modern times (*cough* thanks to the main stream media *cough*).
Well, not to worry because now here comes the latest 'parenting' trend in the form of PACE! Excellent stuff! It can't come soon enough.
Let's spread the love! <3
Not sure I should type the next paragraph because my Aspieness is confused about social convention (no shit right, please see above) and it is now too late to call Cara and ask her for her advice, so here goes nothing!
If any of you reading this would like to contact me to talk about how this works for your little people, with or without complex needs, please do get in touch, I'd love to think it through with you.
I guess you could say it was my 'gift' (as someone on the Autistic Spectrum) to be able to see these principles and apply them (fairly) easily to my own family.
Anyways, if anyone is still reading, thanks.
Take good care,
N x
EDITED TO ADD:
All of the courses I am finding about PACE appear to be aimed at those who are foster carers or adoptive parents, or people working in child protection fields and therapeutic and supportive roles etc. Very few courses are targeting actual biological parents. This is because the focus of 'attachment parenting' in these instances is NOT related to special needs children, nor even children in the 'majority'.
PACE is being 'sold' by people working for adoption agencies/fostering agencies to Local Authorities in order to support their fostering/adoption processes. Obviously, this is great news for all those children.
But, once again, I am left thinking that for some reason, the 'establishment' are perhaps hesitant to give these skills to everyone, sorry, I mean every parent as well as to everyone 'becoming' a parent if you know what I mean.
Imagine a world where the birth parents of all these children who find themselves in foster care were taught the principles of PACE? Surely it would have had a positive effect in at least some of the cases? Hopefully one day we will find out.
I am so sad right now because I know my children do not have any attachment issues (I parent using PACE principles already, doh) but what they do have are complex special needs governed by their senses and neurological conditions (causing me to parent this way in the first place if I'm being truly honest, they taught me everything I know) and if other parents don't know any of this yet (that just loving, accepting, understanding, listening, empathising etc etc works miracles) then they need to be told too!
So, please, fellow parents (and especially those of you with children with special needs), do not feel that you are being criticised by the mainstream and do not feel that you have somehow 'caused' your child's special needs just because so many of their difficulties cross paths with those who have suffered some kind of attachment malfunction.
What has in fact happened is that you now know that your child was born with these 'special needs' in order to teach you these important principles themselves...for free! Voluntarily! Not via some crazy expensive, mostly inaccessible course! Aren't we lucky?!
Kids ALL need showering with the principles of PACE (playfulness, acceptance, curiosity and empathy), shit, all ADULTS need some extra loving from the PACE principles too!
Go on, try it.
N x
PS - I really am going to sleep now.
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