Sunday, 18 October 2015
Building the New.
This encapsulates my life philosophy. I genuinely believe that my efforts are best placed in creating new 'stuff'. Be it thoughts, people, ideas, relationships, habits etc etc. I have never described myself as creative, but it turns out that I am! I only want to create new 'systems'. It thrills me. I think that is why the complex and completely meaningful relationships in my house fascinate me so much.
Anyway, during a conversation about school choices, I had these thoughts and things to say about what is going with us 5 at the moment.
Here is what I wrote. I wrote this to a friend, before I decided it would be a blog post so it is as honest as it gets!
Enjoy!
"Hey, So, which one did they choose? I'm dying to know! I used to work in all of them many moons ago.
They made a really big decision and it sounds like they have been empowered by the experience. It reminds me of me! When I was that age I had the choice of going to Bedford Academy (John Bunyan as it was) or Dame Alice (now merged with Bedford Modern but still a private school). I chose Dame Alice because even thought there was an exam and I would be going completely alone, it was still a safer, more predictable, more academic choice.
If I had gone to John Bunyan with my 'friends' I cannot even begin to imagine the different route my life would have taken.
It still wasn't easy and there were still mornings when my mum would have to sit in the car with me outside school and wait for me to stop crying and calm down enough to actually go in! But, go in I did, most of the time.
I switched again for my 'A' Levels to go to Sharnbrook. Now that transition was far from easy. I was back among all the kind of people who bullied me in my middle school!
{I edited out two paragraphs for privacy.}
We seem to be pretty busy. I'm not coping well with it but we are doing it! We have never had so many organised activities (4 per week) and trying to fit in 'quality' time is more difficult because I have so much more to do. Trying to get them all to comply and enjoy is hard going!
Dominik has a wobble every week at parkour. He has a meltdown within the first hour every week guaranteed. It is heartbreaking but he hasn't given up yet and is just beginning to see an improvement so I honeslty hope he decides to keep it up after half term. Feels like a test!
Hannon is coding his own video games which improve by the day! It is incredible to watch and he surpassed what I had learned in less than 24 hours!! He has taken to it like a duck to water. He has about 5 different pieces of game making software on his pc but this is the first one that has really worked for his learning style. So, after about 4 months of trial and error (and money!) he has finally found his niche...and it was free! lol [ETA - He is even drawing all of his own pictures which is a first as he doesn't even voluntarily write with a pencil. Whilst the rest are drawing, he has always resolutely refused. Until now! He is experimenting with drawing on the computer and even 3D drawing like he never could in real life. I think he has overcome a big fear in doing this. He even said he thinks he might start trying with a pencil in the future. I am so proud of him taking charge of what works for him. Lily has even let him borrow her graphics tablet in case he wants to try with a pen.]
Lily is reading like a pro! She is just flying through it now and she is even asking to learn Spanish! We wrote down all the ways I could think of to say 'I love you' in different languages last night. It was great fun,
Although, to coincide with Lily's rapid developmental spurt, we have also had a complete regression to the aggression and violence.
I have come to accept that it is the price we pay for big leaps. It puts a lot of stress on her system and she falls apart a little at the seams. We're all doing our best to support her..well, except Hannon who mostly wants to torment her a little more. Grrr.
And Harriet! She is awesome. Teeth 9 and 10 on their way. Crawling brilliantly (although more of a drag than a crawl...think legless zombie!) and she has just started cruising the furniture! I had forgotten how scary this bit is but she is doing marvellously and takes the odd tumble with grace and humour! She can almost stand unaided and she is learning fast how to fall onto her bum! She is also loving any food you give her to try. Thanks goodness! I do not have time to cook yet another meal! She loves being wrapped and even tolerates my failures and re-wrappings with fun (that is, if you call having your ears bitten at all 'fun').
Me, well, I'm exhausted and was on the edge for a few days. My mum stepped in and gave me an afternoon last week which was my first one since Harriet was born. That is 8 months! So, well, it was great and I am ok now.
Well, now I've bored you with an essay (sorry) I'm going to blog it in an adapted form if that is ok with you? I won't mention you by name but I will say how the blog came about.
PS - Thanks for asking how we are. You'd be amazed how few people actually do and I sometimes forget that great things are going on here, even when I am too exhausted to fully appreciate it all. Being able to write it down really helps.
Big hugs xxxxx" So, there you have it. That's a short summary of how we are all building and creating in my house! Sorry I haven't blogged sooner. It's been a bit busy! I'm glad a friend helped me to make the time to blog today.
N x PS - I did my hair!
Labels:
acceptance,
anxiety,
ASD,
creative home schooling,
education,
four children,
learning,
love,
pathological demand avoidance,
PDA,
PDAs,
SPD,
teaching ASD children,
trust,
unschooling
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